For the Lord will not reject forever. Although he causes grief, he will have compassion according to the abundance of his steadfast love; for he does not willingly afflict or grieve anyone (Lamentations 3:31-33, NRSV).

My brother and I sat patiently in the backseat of the '53 Chevrolet. A piece of insulation hung loosely from the ceiling. We were unaware of our destination; unaware of the dragons we would encounter — the harsh reality life would bring us. I remember no goodbye, no kiss from my mother.

A huge unpainted home with leafy oak branches overhead awaited us. The shaded earth lay as a scarf beneath the house, providing a cool haven for the chickens. The trees in the far back area of the yard were cut for firewood to warm the house during the winter.

My grandparents, cousins, aunt, and I made up a total of ten individuals in my new home. My older cousin Doris was immediately ready to take on her new role as our mother and caretaker.

Holidays were special — shoeboxes filled with fruits, candies, and cakes; a doll for Christmas with handmade outfits and accessories; an Easter basket Uncle Edmond bought us; twenty or more relatives filling the beds and sleeping on the floor covered with colorful quilts.

Maintaining the farm meant hard, diligent work for my new family and me. I had to help by planting crops and by hoeing, picking, and bagging cotton. To earn $4.00, I set out tobacco plants. I carefully dropped each plant into the plant setter as its pointed mouth formed a hole in the earth for the plant to grow. As the tobacco grew, I broke off the suckers growing within the leaves. I cropped, cured, graded, and finally stacked the tobacco for the market. I picked corn with my bare hands, threw it into a wagon, and unloaded it later. The work was continuous. I was constantly feeding the animals, washing clothes, raking yards, digging up potatoes, and cutting firewood.

"Your daddy's social security check came for you children," Grandpa said one day. Our minds really didn't question authority or the money. We just felt inside that once we turned eighteen, we had the freedom to spend it as we chose. Since I was the oldest, my time had finally arrived to receive my share and to fulfill my dream of obtaining a college degree and a teaching position. I was ready to receive my birth certificate from my grandfather as verification of my identity for a college application. Reluctantly, he handed it to me, saying, "It was your foolish mommy and daddy." I had always carried the last name of Barnes, but when I saw the last name on the birth certificate and a father's name I'd never heard of, a knife's sharp edge split my heart. I felt an indescribable agony.

Mom had not really visited us until I was in high school. "Why didn't you ever come?" I asked. "Your father told me he would kill me if I ever went to your grandparents' house," she answered. "But Mom, Daddy died when I was eight years old," I replied. "Afterward, I heard that your grandparents would kill me," Mom said defensively. "Why is Chavis on my birth certificate? Who was my real father?" I asked. "Alfred Barnes was your father!" Mom answered. What a relief! After my grandfather hired a lawyer to remove the Chavis name, I was satisfied. To this day I have never received one cent of my father's social security.

God placed within me a kind and forgiving heart. The money never really dominated my mind. Since I was used to having little money, reaching for it was not a priority in my life. My brother and sister, however, rejoiced in their inheritance, spending their money in a fashion they chose. To escape the reality of my family situation, and since I had never had much money in the first place, I concentrated instead on my professional career and studies as a teacher.

Finally reaching the stars, I chose Great Spirit — without the money or the gold. Great Spirit has become my sanctuary where I dwell with peace, knowing that he guided and directed me. My perseverance and determination have brought me great success, bountiful opportunities, and wealth in my soul and spirit. Today, out of one brother and sister and ten half-brothers and half-sisters, I am the only one who has received a college degree and received honors and awards. I shall always give God the glory for this.

God has richly blessed me with God's divine grace and glory, and I need only look to the Creator for fulfillment and spiritual riches in my life.

Discussion Questions

• For what successes in your life do you humbly give thanks?
• What are the rewards for hard labor?
• Who taught you life values? How?
• How can adversity instill a sense of strength?

Scripture

Romans 5:1-5
Hebrews 12:1-3

Prayers

Opening
Creator God, it is with open ears and hearts that we approach this story of faith formation. Help us see, feel, and learn another story of building and maintaining faith in unfriendly places. Help us see the relationship that grows between us and our Creator God. Amen.

Closing
Please, Creator God, be close to all children who suffer in poverty and have to endure hard labor, wherever they may be in the world. We pray that they too will be strong and free . . . that they overcome the kinds of hardships Yvonne has shared with us. Keep us strong and faithful as we go into our daily places of work. Whether we are working on an assembly line, cutting grass for a neighbor, checking groceries, managing an office, repairing a broken transmission, building a house, or driving an ambulance, Creator God is with us. The Spirit of Creator God is with us in all places and at all times. Through you, Holy Name, we pray. Amen.

Yvonne Barnes Dial is a Lumbee from North Carolina. An English teacher in her local high school, she is a member of Pembroke United Methodist Church, where she directs children's and youth ministries.