Is it really that bad? You don’t need to tell young people about violence. Most of them have had firsthand experience. All have known a victim. On TV, they’ve seen dozens of violent actions each hour they’ve watched. Violence is a daily reality for them. You don’t need to tell them that life is unpredictable. U.S. families are broken by divorce at alarming rates. Soon more than a third of teens will have experienced their parents’ divorce. Diverse family structures (blended, single parent, grandparent as parent, etc.) are more common than traditional ones.

You don’t need to tell young people that the world values things more than people. Tobacco and liquor companies shamelessly market their addictive products to youth. Parents find themselves suddenly unemployed after years of faithful service. School sports and after-hours program budgets are cut to afford concessions to attract new businesses into communities. You don’t need to tell young people that adults will do something to make the world better for them. Don’t bother—they won’t believe it. Too many have seen older siblings move into jobs in the service industry, unlike their parents who had opportunities in trained or professional fields. Today’s youth expect to make their own way.

“The risks facing contemporary teenagers bear solemn testimony to the church’s ineffectiveness at addressing adolescence. Youth look to the church to show them something, someone, capable of turning their lives inside out and the world upside down. Most of the time we have offered them pizza. We are painfully aware that we have sold them short. We have tended to their situations more effectively than their souls, and we have the statistics to prove it. In the meantime, our own wells have run dry. We are running out of ideas. And steam. And hope” (The Godbearing Life, Dean and Foster, p. 9).

No gloom and doom! For those who no longer consider themselves to be “young people,” the preceding paragraphs may seem to paint a picture of gloom and doom. Young people, however, see a world of hope—one with a future for them. They “surf” pop culture for signs of hope and tools for success much like they “surf” the Internet or the TV channels. Today’s children and youth are the “Baby on Board” kids. Society’s appreciation for young people began to change as this generation was being born. Car ads moved from a focus on economy to a focus on safety and child/family friendliness. Media moved to an appreciation of children (Three Men and a Baby, Disney movies/videos, KidTV), and a new baby boom began. The children of the Millennial Generation have been loved, nurtured, protected, and encouraged to be high achievers. With working parents and an emphasis on protection, they’ve been raised in an environment of daycare, school, and organized activities all their lives. It’s no wonder they tend to value the opinion of their peers above that of older people. It’s natural for them to team up to solve problems. It’s also no wonder they see themselves as workers willing to take on tasks that hold the promise of improving the world.

What’s a church to do? As congregations contemplate shrinking memberships and loss of esteem in their communities, they often point to young people’s problems as signs of the church’s failure to instill traditional values. Some church leaders have strengthened their resolve to recover the past by adopting the old narrow theologies and rigid methodologies. Others are resigned to sitting in empty pews, mourning the passing of “the good years.” Others, still hopeful for the future of their young people, are filled with fear of them. Young people don’t respond to the same things that the older members did in their youth. Many congregational leaders find little value in the music, movies, television, dress, and public attitudes of young people. They search desperately for help in making the church relevant to the formation of faith for young people.

Reaching young people. When congregations turn their priorities to “reaching” young people, they often have no idea where to start. The first temptation is to find the money to hire a “youth pastor” to “do” the church’s youth ministry. They want someone who understands young people and can bring them back from the edge of destruction—bring them into the church in ways that the older members find acceptable. They want someone who will take their children, protect and work with them until they are 18, then turn them out into the world of college or employment as “finished” Christians. Churches usually begin with very high standards for these “youth pastors”—maturity; solid faith foundation; counseling, teaching, and relational skills—but settle for a young person who has few of the desired skills . . . but is available. Then the congregation turns over the youth ministry to the “youth pastor” with little direction or training. The typical paid youth worker in The United Methodist Church survives less than 18 months before moving on to other adventures in life. The typical church is dissatisfied with its youth ministry program because it seems to be aimless.

Congregations know that youth have needs that differ from adults’. They are willing to provide for those needs by creating a designated space and staff, but they don’t usually take time to discover for themselves what those needs really are. Thus, leaders assume that they are not well equipped to meet the needs. The sad truth is that when church members don’t personally reach out to youth, the church probably fails to be a part of the future for those young people.

In establishing ministries for youth that are faith-forming and life-giving, congregations must build relationships that allow the generations to retain their uniqueness, while valuing the contributions of each. This requires intense listening and learning on the part of adults. When adults model these attributes, youth are more likely to enter a dialogue in which congregations can address the real issues young people face in their quest for meaningful living.

Let the learning begin. No matter how good a church feels about its youth ministry efforts, improvement always happens when active listening occurs. Active listening, a process that involves diverse groups of people who are trying harder to listen than they are to tell, leads to new insight, learning, and change toward improvement. In the church, listening is the most essential tool in developing congregational ministries. Learning is not an end in itself. The congregation must use what it learns to develop systems of ministries that help make disciples. In youth ministries, those systems must include the leadership and participation of both youth and adults. A continuing dialogue within the congregation is necessary to keep ministry systems dynamic and progressive as the needs of the community change.

A Model for Discovering a Congregation’s Ministry with Young People

  1. Ask all members of the congregation (including youth) to pray and search the Scriptures for guidance in clarifying what God is calling the congregation to do and to be.
  2. Design a listening event or events where youth and adults can be heard. Record what is said during the events. Ask these questions:
    • Why do youth from our church want to get together?
    • What is the purpose of our youth ministry?
    • What do we want youth to gain from being a part of our youth ministry?
    • What is God calling us to be in this day and place?
    • Who are the youth with whom God is calling us to be in ministry?
  3. Form a team that includes youth and adults to process the results of the listening events and to formulate a statement of the vision for the congregation’s ministry with young people.
  4. Test the statement with youth and adults and modify as necessary.

Having struggled with what God is asking a congregation’s youth ministry to be, members and leaders will be better equipped to plan for ministry that will move forward with purpose. After the congregation has formed a vision, then discussions of programs and personnel are more appropriate (UMY Handbook, 1999, p. 17).

Therefore: Don’t tell young people what to think and do; listen! When adults model listening, youth listen too. That’s where adults enter young people’s lives. That’s where the church effects faith formation. As The United Methodist Church moves deeper into its primary task, making disciples of Jesus Christ, it must place great emphasis on creating settings where groups of people can listen to and live in relationship with one another. The church of Jesus Christ exists because together we are the body of Christ. The church is not “whole” (or healthy) without the full functioning of all generations.

“Adolescents are looking for a soul-shaking, heart-waking, world-changing God to fall in love with; and if they do not find that God in the Christian church, they will most certainly settle for lesser gods elsewhere . . . So will we” (The Godbearing Life, Dean and Foster, p. 9).

Ministry with Youth and The General Board of Discipleship: Partners in Discipleship
The General Board of Discipleship listens to youth and adults to hear their needs and concerns, to discover new ways to equip The United Methodist Church, and to support its leaders for ministry with all generations. The General Board staff provide resources for youth ministry, develop leader networks, and help the church (congregations, conferences, jurisdictions) develop its processes for training spiritual leaders of youth ministry (youth and adults). Several General Board staff members specialize in youth ministries. They are available for conversation via phone, e-mail, and postal mail.

  • Terry B. Carty, Director of Youth Ministries, PO Box 340003, Nashville, TN 37203-0003; tcarty@gbod.org; tollfree: 877-899-2780, ext. 7174.
  • Susan Hay, Director of Youth Ministries, PO Box 340003, Nashville, TN 37203-0003; shay@gbod.org; tollfree: 877-899-2780, ext. 7069.
  • Sandy Miller, Editor, Devo’Zine, PO Box 340004, Nashville, TN 37203-0004; smiller@upperroom.org; tollfree: 877-899-2780, ext. 7089.

Online (Internet) Resources

Print and Video Resources

Unless otherwise noted, these resources are available from Discipleship Resources, (800) 972-0433, www.discipleshipresources.org, or Cokesbury (800) 672-1789.

Mailing Lists

Mailing lists are used by the General Board of Discipleship only to inform leaders of youth ministry resources. They are not sold to vendors or shared with other agencies. To subscribe to the youth ministry posted mailing list, go to www.gbod.org/youth/mailing.asp. To subscribe to the e-mail announcement list for youth leaders, go to www.gbod.org/youth/mailing.asp or send an e-mail to requests@lists.gbod.org with the words “subscribe youthmin_announce” (without the quotes) in the first line of the body of the message.

Training Resources

For more information, contact Youth Ministries, General Board of Discipleship, PO Box 340003, Nashville, TN 37203-0003; tollfree: 877-899-2780, ext. 7069 or ext. 7174; shay@gbod.org or tcarty@gbod.org.

Terry B. Carty is a Director of Youth Ministries at the General Board of Discipleship, Nashville, TN.

Updated June 2004
 

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