"(Jesus) called a child, whom he put among (the disciples), and said, 'Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever becomes humble like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. Whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me.'"
(Matt. 18:2-5 NRSV)

"Let the little children come to me; do not stop them; for it is to such as these that the kingdom of God belongs."
(Mark 10:14 NRSV)

Today children face a much different world than did their parents or grandparents when they were children. Fear and uncertainty permeate their lives. Violence, sex, and disillusionment confront them each time they turn on the TV, look at a newspaper, walk down the street, or go to school. Children have a difficult time just being children. And where is the church? As church leaders, we are concerned about children. We care deeply and want to do something. But what? In this different world of young children, the choices are many; the "tried and true programs" may not work any more. How can the church reach out to draw children wholly into the safety of the congregational family? How can the congregation be the living example of Christ and lead children into discipleship? How can the congregation be the body of Christ granting peace in a violent world?

Children as People
Children are unique creations of God. As babies, they need special protection and care. They are completely dependent on others to provide for their needs.

As children grow, some needs remain constant while others change. Children need to feel safe, to be free from hunger, to be rested, to have a stable, loving environment, and to be free to explore and to learn. As they grow, they increasingly need to be independent, to make decisions, to feel purposeful and competent, to think, to question, to observe the world and people around them, and to practice skills. Children grow at different rates — physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. Sometimes adults do not intuitively know children's developmental needs. Yet it is important that we try to discover each child's developmental place.

Frequently, we tend to expect too little or too much of a child. Unfortunately, we may even overlook a child. We devalue a child's existence and deny God when we fail to consider a child as worthy and capable. Children have a special relationship with God. "Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven" (Matt. 18:3 NRSV).

When children see faith modeled by adults, their own spirituality takes root. When they are empowered to "own" their faith, they develop an understanding of God that is built on a trust and a clarity that adults could well emulate. If we could "become like children," that same clarity of faith in God would be available to us. We need to ask ourselves when we last helped children share their faith with us.

The congregation can respond to children's needs by:

  • Providing for their basic (food, safety, social) needs;
  • Knowing their developmental stages and planning accordingly;
  • Modeling an active, growing faith;
  • Encouraging them to acknowledge their spirituality and to share it with others.

Children in Families
The relationships children have within their families are the most important ones for their personal growth. Family configurations, settings, and economics are diverse and may be stress factors for families. Despite stress, many families provide a stable, loving environment in which children thrive. The family's ability to see hope in the face of problems can keep the barriers from being insurmountable. As a church, we need to help families find the hope Christ offers.

Children need families that provide safety, encouragement, and positive modeling. Today, much help is available from both secular and religious sources. But accessing this help may be difficult for families with limited money and time. Most parents work hard to raise their children. The task is not an easy one. Parents need to feel supported and nurtured themselves in order to support and nurture their children.

The Search Institute, Minneapolis, MN, discovered that a family's "religiosity" is the most important component in an individual's development of a mature faith. Most Protestant denominations fail to help families "be religious." That news should not discourage us, but challenge us to become more deliberate in our support for families.

The congregation can respond to children's needs in families by providing:

  • Parenting classes and support groups;
  • Quality childcare for very young children and learning events for older children whenever adults meet;
  • Family-oriented learning and playing arenas;
  • Worship that is appropriate for and inclusive of children;
  • Theology of hope through sermons, Bible study, and interactions.

Children in Congregations
Congregations and families need to be mindful of the importance of including children. When we meet families, how often do we ignore the children? Do we use the children's names when we talk with them? Church members are asked to give time and talents. Does that mean only the adults? Are children and youth ignored? Or are they too given an opportunity to respond in Christian discipleship? Are children assured that church is a safe place for them? Do we frown at children during church worship for wiggling and making noise? Church pews are made for tall adults so children's legs hang free and pew backs are a long way from the children's backs. How do we accommodate their size? We willingly let the Scouts use a basement room, but do we include them in the life of the congregation? Do we just feel good "helping" them as long as they just don't bother us?

Jesus spoke of letting the children come to him and not hindering them. We often hear pastors and teachers talk about "faith through the eyes of a child." A child's spiritual nature is present and active. Adults can do much to nurture children's spirituality, yet we do little. When was the last event at your church in which a child was asked to pray? to lead? to conribute in any meaningful way?

A child's faith grows as the child grows. A young child's faith is based on the child's relationship with adults. As the child grows, faith is experienced through many aspects of life. Faith is given words by the adults who model faith for the child. Children practice faith through prayer, Bible reading and study, singing, learning with others, and practicing spiritual disciplines.

With increased awareness for protection of children, it is imperative for congregations to implement policies to reduce the risk of abuse for children and for the adults who work with them. If your congregation is not already working to do everything possible to assure safety for children, don't wait another minute. Talk with your congregation's leadership, purchase Safe Sanctuaries (see resource list), and begin the steps listed there. Do everything you can to reduce risk for the children in your church.

Worship, education, stewardship, mission, and outreach are important for children. Habits that people develop as children will be present throughout their lives. Understanding children's development and their learning process helps us provide experiences that enable children to be involved in worship, education, stewardship, and service to others.

New brain research data show the importance of early mental stimulation for children. Do we provide appropriate training for caregivers of young children?

An African proverb states, "It takes a whole village to raise a child." Each adult member of the congregation has an important role in helping children grow in faith. The congregation can respond to children's needs in congregations by:

  • Knowing each child by name;
  • Including children in all aspects of church life;
  • Providing a clean, safe environment;
  • Modeling faithful living and providing opportunities for children to practice faithfulness;
  • Talking to children about God and encouraging them to talk to you about God.

Children in Society
Today's children are a part of the Millennial Generation. Their parents are the Baby Boomers and the Post Moderns/GenXers; their grandparents are the Baby Boomers and Silent Generation. Today's children are growing up in a time of increased protection for children. They will enjoy the advantages of institutions, joining groups such as scouts, and are increasingly wearing uniforms to school. They are active in sports and the arts. They will feel "wanted." For that, we celebrate. Children should feel wanted.

Yet open any newspaper and see the not-so-positive impact on children. You will easily find a news story reporting a governmental decision, a criminal act, a school report, a nutritional announcement, an act of violence, or an obituary that has an impact on a child. Some stories are positive; most are not. Many adults have become callous. Remembering that each statistic and each story has the face of a particular child will help move us to action. If each of us did one unselfish act a week to aid a child, the result would be profound.

With many parents unable to stay home with children, the need for quality childcare is great. With facilities designed for children not used during the week and with the calling to provide for children matched with ministry gifts of the congregation, churches are in a unique position to care for children during the week by organizing daycare with extended hours, Parents Day Out or Play Day a few hours a week, infant or ill childcare, preschool or after-school care. By meeting the need for quality childcare, the congregation can offer an important service to the families in the community.

The congregation can respond to children's needs in society by:

  • Calling the county health department and offering a location for a child immunization clinic;
  • Assessing the local homeless population and organizing a church-sponsored shelter;
  • Joining with other congregations to bring about systemic changes in the community;
  • Providing school supplies for homeless children;
  • Connecting with a neighborhood school for mentoring, advocacy, teacher support, and/or parent support as a school partner;
  • Providing regular support groups for teenage parents;
  • Starting or increasing church support for a weekday childcare center, after-school ministry, scouting or Campfire group;
  • Providing parenting classes for church and community.

Ministries with Children and the General Board of Discipleship: Partners in Discipleship
Staff of The General Board of Discipleship listen to the needs of children and the people who care for them. Our task is to "empower and equip persons to be in ministry with and for children." As such, we look for the best ways to support leaders working in local congregations, districts, and conferences. We share knowledge and advocate for children in a variety of arenas. The staff offer training events (e.g., FOCUS), print and audiovisual resources, consultations, leadership training, ecumenical coordination, and civic youth-serving agency collaboration.

FOCUS, the every-four-years event for workers with children, provides support, vision, experiences, and insights for more then 1200 persons. FOCUS 2005 will help people who care about children grow in knowledge and understanding of children, experience worship with children, share problems and solutions with other child advocates, question new ideas, and become renewed in their ministry with children.

Weekday ministry for preschool and elementary age children is a crucial ministry for many congregations. Support and resources for starting a weekday ministry are available from The General Board of Discipleship. Write to: Office of Children's Ministries, PO Box 340003, Nashville, TN 37203-0003, or e-mail mgran@gbod.org.

Resources for Ministry with Children
The following resources are available from Discipleship Resources, 800-972-0433, http://www.discipleshipresources.org, and Cokesbury, (800) 672-1789.

Staff

  • Mary Alice Donovan Gran, Director of Children's Ministries, The General Board of Discipleship, PO Box 340003, Nashville, TN 37203-0003; 615-340-7143; 877-899-2780, ext. 7143; mgran@gbod.org.
  • Lynn Gilliam, Editor, Pockets Magazine, The Upper Room, PO Box 340004, Nashville, TN 37203-0004; 615-340-7240; lgilliam@upperroom.org.

Mary Alice Donovan Gran is Director of Children's Ministries, General Board of Discipleship, Nashville, TN.

Updated June 2004
 

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