EI? . . . EI! . . . Oh! Emotional Intelligence and Christian Formation

by Carol F. Krau

Imagine that it is Sunday morning and you are in the youth lounge ready to greet the youth as they arrive. You and several other adult leaders have planned a session on parent-teen relationships. You are really fired up about improving communications between the youth and their families.

The first to enter is Sherri, a cheerleader at her local high school, who was elected vice president of her class just last week. Sherri is followed by Jason, who is celebrating his birthday next weekend. His parents are taking him and two good friends to New York City. Laura arrives next. This is one of the two weekends in the month that she will be present. The other two weekends Laura spends with her dad in a neighboring city.

Shannon has a scowl on her face before she even walks through the door. Her younger brother teased her all the way to church about her new boyfriend. Nick’s family just moved to your town. Nick is concerned about whether or not he’ll find friends here. He really doesn’t want to be here, but his stepmother made him come to Sunday school. Michael "aced" his math test on Friday. As he arrives, he immediately engages Sherri in conversation about the test and his thoughts about becoming a math teacher.

Finally, Emma arrives. You notice that she’s not her usually bubbly self, and then you remember that her grandmother died during the summer. Emma’s mother has been out of town a lot, trying to help her grandfather reorganize the household and arrange for home health care. Well, everyone’s here — time to start the class.

Does the above scenario sound more like a soap opera than a Sunday school class? Perhaps, but it’s a description of the kinds of dynamics that occur week after week in congregations throughout the country. Whether you teach children, youth, or adults, the members of your class come with experiences and emotions that will influence their participation in the group and their relationships with one another.

So what’s a teacher to do? You’ve made plans; you know the topic is an important one. Will you begin with your plan and hope for the best? Will you become angry if the young people don’t respond? Do you have processes in place to help you adapt to the group?

To explore possible responses to the above questions, let’s turn to the concept of emotional intelligence (EI) — yours, the other leaders,' and the group’s.

Recent research indicates that the concept of emotional intelligence has a neurological basis with highly practical implications for leading a group. Teachers, youth-group counselors, and other small-group leaders will increase their effectiveness by paying attention to the emotional dynamics of group members. Defined as the ability to perceive, understand, and manage emotions appropriately (individually and in a group), emotional intelligence has as much, if not more, impact on whether people learn, participate, and cooperate as intellectual ability does.

Emotionally intelligent teachers are teachers who have the ability to "read" the verbal and nonverbal cues of learners. These cues not only include what a learner says, but also how the learner says it and what is not said. Facial expressions, tone of voice, and posture all send out messages about the emotional state of the learner. Teachers who are attuned to these messages are able to empathize with learners in a way that communicates respect, acceptance, and affirmation.

Because they are aware of other people’s emotions, effective teachers and group leaders build a sense of excitement, cooperation, and trust in the group as they learn and grow together. Effective leaders know how to use the symbols, language, stories, and practices of the Christian faith to create a group identity that holds meaning for all group members.

Emotionally intelligent teachers understand that positive emotions, such as optimism and hope, have the capacity to motivate individuals and encourage high levels of participation. In the same way, emotionally intelligent teachers recognize that negative emotions, such as fear and anxiety, can diminish the learner’s ability to learn, limit creativity, and produce high levels of stress in the learning environment. Emotionally intelligent teachers work to create emotional safety, which is essential to effective learning environments.

One way that group leaders can incorporate emotional intelligence into their meetings is through the development of group norms. These norms provide a framework for group interaction. Learners can be encouraged to listen to one another, ask questions to make sure they understand others, examine their own assumptions, and respect opinions different from their own. Group leaders model this kind of behavior, as well as help the learners reflect on how their actions support or stray from the established group expectations.

Another means for building emotional intelligence is through team learning. Collaboration can reduce anxiety and stress, since individual learners are not competing against one another. Group members will have differt perspectives. Team learning has the potential for broadening individual perspectives, developing empathy, and increasing respect and appreciation for others.

When teachers and learners work together to build cognitive and emotional intelligence, the faith community becomes a safe place to test beliefs, examine assumptions, assess values, and reflect on life experiences in light of Scripture and the Christian tradition. In this kind of community, learners are learning to learn, as they grow in faith.

Since the world in which we live is constantly changing, congregations need emotionally intelligent teachers and small-group leaders. These leaders will equip learners with the tools for living faithfully in today’s world as they develop the emotional intelligence of learners.

For additional information about emotional intelligence, see Emotional Intelligence: Why It Matters More than IQ by Daniel Goleman (Bantam Books, 1997.

Carol F. Krau (ckrau@gbod.org) is a director of teacher/leader development in Christian education for the General Board of Discipleship.

Posted 5-1-02


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