Children and Difficult Economic Times
by Mary Alice Gran

"Do we say nothing?"
"How do I tell my children my job has ended?"
"How do we answer questions the kids have about the financial situation of our family or of the country?"

As families face difficult economic circumstances, parents struggle to find the right answers for their children. Walking the tightrope between no information and too much information is always difficult, whether the subject is finances, sexuality, or a personal crisis of some kind.

Saying nothing is never a good choice. Children know when you are experiencing big difficulties, and unspoken stresses often become far worse in children's minds than in reality. So explain, in an age-appropriate way, what is happening. Being able to talk about it is helpful for you and for the children. Remember that children need simple, clear explanations of what is happening and generally do not need details. They do need continual reassurance, so as a parent take the initiative to offer that frequently.

Focus on your relationship as a family. Have fun together. Instead of spending money to have fun at party centers, theaters, and pizzerias, be creative with what you can do inexpensively. Make fun meals together, go to a park to play, or pull out the board games. Create your own backyard Olympics or living room theater. Spending more time together having fun is always a winning combination. Having fun as a family will provide reassurance (for you and the children) that "everything will be all right."

Focus on what the family can do rather than what you can't do. Maybe you can't go out for breakfast on Saturday mornings, but you can have pancakes at home and use your "good dishes." Maybe the piano lessons must stop for a while, but neighborhood recitals at home (with homemade cookies) can be delightful. Rather then having numerous meals out each month, grow a family backyard garden or container garden. Reap benefits of fewer dollars spent at the grocery store as well as time spent together (and some new favorite vegetables).

Focus on developing new family spiritual habits together. At some point each day, invite each family member to add an "I'm thankful for . . ." to the family calendar. Start each day with an out-loud prayer for each family member as a blessing. Start a family prayer notebook or wall mural, using markers to draw and write prayer requests, blessings, and thanksgivings. Make attending church as a family each week a priority.

Focus on helping others. Every day there are opportunities to help others, even if you can't give a lot of money. Help an elderly neighbor with yard work. Volunteer as a family to sort donations at a local food bank. Sign up to walk some of the dogs at the animal shelter. When each family member grows in awareness of others and how you can help others, your own difficulty doesn't seem so overwhelming anymore.

Posted 3-18-09

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