And Your Visitors Said ...
by Shirley F. Clement

Many churches who think they are friendly do so because they truly are friendly with each other. You have probably heard that ad nauseum. And, actually, being friendly toward one another is important. In the early church, others observed Christians as they gathered and said, "See how they love one another." It is part of being a caring and compassionate community. However, as the body of Christ, our caring, our hospitality and welcome, and our friendliness must go beyond those with whom we have most in common or those we know best. As an expression of God's graciousness, it extends to the stranger, those we have never met, those who are somehow different than we are. As visitors come into our worship or small groups, do they really experience the graciousness of God through our welcome and presence?

What do your visitors say? We assume those who come back and finally become part of our community experienced a welcome as they first came. Instead of working on assumptions, it may be helpful to ask the visitors who become members what their first and second visits to church were like. What drew them to the church in the first place? Did they already know someone who goes there? Did they feel welcome the first couple times they came? If so, specifically what was it that gave them that feeling? If they did not feel welcome, what made that so? And if they did not feel as though the congregation was friendly, what made them come back again? What was it about the church that finally made them want to be part of this community? In what ways did they and do they experience the graciousness of God? What could have been improved?

That is the easy interview! Maybe even more important is to interview those who visited once or twice and did not come back. What drew them there for their first visit? Did they know anyone who attends? Did they feel welcome? Did they experience God's graciousness? If yes, in what specific ways? What was missing that led them to attend somewhere else? If they did not feel as though the people were friendly, what specifically could have been changed? When visitors are interviewed, or when questionnaires are sent to them, be sure to let them know the purpose is to help the church know how to "be the church" more effectively. Then tell them you hope they have found a church that helps them grow in their Christian faith.

What have you learned through these interviews? What are the similarities or differences in responses between those who stayed and those who did not? Was there any difference in what drew them there for the first visit? Was there a difference in whether they knew someone? Was there a difference in what they were looking for?

How will the responses of both groups help you to be a community of faith in which people experience the graciousness of God and where they feel invited to grow in faith and discipleship? Do all of this remembering that our mission is to make disciples of Jesus Christ.

Shirley F. Clement retired from the staff of the General Board of Discipleship in 2003.

Posted 5-29-03.