Standing Between Two Cultures
by Soozung Sa, Director of Ministries with Families and Singles, General Board of Discipleship

I often find myself standing between two cultures. I am most comfortable telling people that I am Asian American or Korean American, not just American and not just Korean. I was born in the U.S. after all — in Wisconsin. I lived nowhere near a Korean community, except at church, where my father was a pastor of Korean churches in predominantly Caucasian communities. However, going to church to be with the Korean community is different from living in a Korean community. Other than my sister, I was always the only Korean (American) student in my schools. There were times in my life when I felt too Korean, or too American, or not Korean enough, or not American enough, or just plain odd —not fitting in smoothly anywhere. At those times, my feelings about my culture depended on how others treated me. Sometimes it was the way church members looked at me, or how relatives looked at me when we'd visit Korea, or how teachers and students treated me, or — quite honestly — how I looked at myself that day, week, month, or year. I really don't have a problem taking ownership of some of my circumstances, but some situations were really out of my hands.

Now I am comfortable saying that I had a bicultural upbringing with some bilingual influences. Even if my parents talked to me in Korean, I would answer them in English, since English is my first language. If my grandparents spoke to me in Korean when we visited with them, of course I would answer in Korean since that is all they knew. I adjusted, based on my survival needs and the desire to communicate. Today, I sometimes feel that I am in my own culture, a third culture, not one or the other: a separate culture where I don't feel I'm not enough of one or the other or too much of one or the other. This is my reality and my present, and I embrace it joyfully.

I think our call to do ministry is oftentimes like this. We may feel pressure from our past to do ministry in one way and pressure from our external present to do ministry in another way — even if neither way is true to our call. Just because my spiritual mentors did ministry one way as I grew and matured doesn't mean that their methods will work today in similar situations. And just because the leaders around us are advising us to do ministry in a particular way with particular resources doesn't mean that theirs is the best way to minister and nurture people. Finding our own way to be in ministry is not about rebelling or repelling. Sometimes it's about being creative. It's about creating something separate from what is comfortable and familiar, but something that embraces the past, acknowledges the present, and envisions the future. One may have to "stand between" to create another culture, one that honors the gifts and needs of those who do the ministering and those who receive the ministering. This is our challenge today: finding what really works in the present in doing the work of evangelism.

Posted 4-22-02