By Richard H. Gentzler, Jr., D.Min

Eleanor is a member of the XYZ (Extra Years of Zest) Sunday School Class. Although an active member for many years, Eleanor recently stopped attending. Climbing the stairs to reach her Sunday school classroom and her increasingly painful arthritis just made going to church too difficult.  Eleanor has had much difficulty “mastering the environment” in her own home, too. Household chores, cooking, and general home maintenance have become burdensome, and in some cases, impossible to do. At one time she could easily climb the wooden stairs leading to her bedroom on the second floor and walk with ease on the gravel path from the garage to her house. Those days are now but a fleeting memory.  After much prayer, conversations with family and close friends, and shedding many tears, Eleanor decided to move. She is leaving behind her house of 27 years and moving into a new home, an apartment in an assisted living facility.

Rituals can help older adults make a transition to a new location

Knowing that such changes can cause anxiety and pain, Eleanor’s Sunday school class developed a ritual to help members deal with moving to a new home. Before Eleanor moves, her Sunday school teacher and several of her friends from the Sunday school class meet in her home. They gather in her living room and sing hymns, read scripture and offer prayers. Eleanor is invited to share stories about living in her house for 27 years. If Eleanor is able, she is invited to lead the class members from room to room and to share memories within each room. When finished with the memory tour, they gather again in the living room and partake of the sacrament of Holy Communion (previously consecrated by the pastor, if she or he is not present during this ritual). They pray a prayer of thanksgiving for God’s presence with Eleanor during the 27 years she lived in her home, and invite God’s blessing on her as she moves into her new home. Then, the class sings another hymn and shares in refreshments brought by several class members before they depart for the evening. 

When Eleanor moves to the assisted living facility, the same group of Sunday school friends and teacher gather in her new home. They invite some of Eleanor’s new neighbors to join with them and they gather together in a room large enough to hold a small group of people. They talk about the transition and move, sing hymns, read scripture, and offer prayers. Eleanor and her new neighbors are invited to show the group around her new home and setting. Following the tour, they gather back in the meeting room. They partake in the sacrament of Holy Communion which has previously been consecrated by the pastor (if he or she is not present). They pray God’s blessing on Eleanor and her neighbors in this new location. Several Sunday school members provide refreshments and they join in a time of fellowship and Christian love. 

As you reflect on this ritual for an older adult who is moving, keep in mind the following questions:

• Who else would you involve in this ritual?
• What other elements would you include?
• What other suggestions do you have for improving this ritual?
• Do you know people in your congregation or Sunday school class who will soon be moving to a new location? Assisted Living Facility? Nursing Home? Continuing Care Retirement Community? Congregate Housing? Other?
• Do you know people in your congregation or Sunday school class who have recently moved to a new location? Could you do the second part of this ritual with them, even though they have already moved?

Would your Sunday school class or congregation support this type of ritual for all its members? 

Richard H. Gentzler, Jr., D.Min is Director of the Center on Aging & Older Adult Ministries for the General Board of Discipleship of The United Methodist Church. He is author of numerous books and many articles on aging, midlife, and older adult ministries. His most recent book, Aging and Ministry in the 21^st Century: An Inquiry Approach, is published by Discipleship Resources, August 2008) 

The Graying of the Church by Richard H. Gentzler, Jr. (Discipleship Resources, 2004) 

Rock of Aging: A Worship and Songbook for Retirement Living by Richard H. Gentzler, Jr., Daniel Benedict, Dean McIntyre(Discipleship Resources, 2002)

The United Methodist Hymnal (United Methodist Publishing House, 1989)

 The United Methodist Book of Worship (United Methodist Publishing House, 1992)